The Love Guru
Marco Schnabel

The whiff of controversy surrounding this film cannot quite mask the fact that it is a stinker.
Hindu groups in India and the United States had protested against the comedy, contending that it lampooned Hinduism. It was passed with a rating of NC16 by the Board of Film Censors here for its raunchy humour and not for religious sensitivities.
The Love Guru’s greatest sin is that it is not funny.
Mike Myers (voice of Shrek and star of the Austin Powers spy spoofs) is Guru Pitka, the world’s No. 2 self-help guru, stuck behind Deepak Chopra, real-life guru to the stars.
Pitka is hired by an ice hockey team owner (Jessica Alba) to reconcile the team’s star player (Romany Malco) with his estranged wife (Meagan Good). Success would mean getting a spot on Oprah Winfrey’s talk show (which is plugged ad nauseam) and a chance at unseating Chopra.
The film’s idea of sophisticated humour is the use of actress Mariska Hargitay’s name as a spiritual greeting, and then have Hargitay actually cameo.
Most of the time though, Guru aims lower. Much lower.
No joke is too lame to repeat and one is forced to endure recurring gags about a male chastity belt, corny self-help book titles and the increasingly desperate sight of Myers mugging away for the camera.
Note to director Marco Schnabel: Just because a character laughs at something on screen does not make it funny.
Guru also contains the least sexy seduction scene ever. An elaborately dolled-up Myers, complete with jewellery in his hair, makes a play for Alba with phallic-looking dishes and more dead-on-arrival jokes.
In a violation of all the possible laws of attraction, Alba’s character actually falls for him.
The film attracted protests from religious groups but the people who should be crying foul are duped audiences.
(ST)